BMX? Really?!

My husband and I had the best time watching the Olympics last night. We started out proud but ended up rolling on the floor (no..really. Actually..ROLLING.) laughing hysterically.
The announcer comes on and says that BMX is making it's Olympic debut!
We think "Hurray for 14 year olds everywhere. The ones who didn't hole up on the sofa with video games. The ones who were not in the basement downloading naked pictures of their 7th grade teacher. Hurray for the kids who still ride around the neighborhood and run to the store for their mom!" You know? Like WE did. Back in 1894.
So we're watching the little guys GO GO GO! They look so cute in their outfits and their giant helmets. They have names like Butter, and Salad, and Mikey and Dan.
My husband was supplementing the announcer during the race with "Come on Mikey..Butter's brother has the new Penthouse! Race Ya!"
And then it happened.
The race ended. The helmets came off.
Underneath? A bunch of CREEPY middle aged men on bikes so small it looked like they stole them from their kids.
What GROWN ASS MAN races a BMX bike?
Suddenly I can see each of them at the Star Track convention. Suddenly they all look like guys named "Chester" who took up the sport so they could hang with the hot 12 to 14 year old boys in their neighborhood and not be busted.
So. Gross.