There are no good or bad people in your life. Just teachers

Yeah well..whomever wrote that line never met my mother.
My bi-polar mother who has been trying to kill herself since she was 16 finally succeeded. And DESPITE the fact that NO ONE in my family was talking to her I am somehow to blame.
My mother was a manipulative, drug addicted, mentally ill mess. If she was not trying to pit people against one another then she was trying to kill herself to control people THAT way. I can't count how many times as a child she threatened to off herself and take me with her.
Fortunately for her... medicines became available to keep her homicidal tendencies under control. Unfortunately.... she chose not to take them. It's just no fun taking responsibility for your actions I guess. Best to cause drama and let everyone around you suffer.
I can't help feeling relieved. The woman tortured me physically, mentally and emotionally MY ENTIRE LIFE. She threatened me, she lied about me.
Some of my favorites are (that she told my family never thinking it would get back to me) was that I was a whore.
I sort of wish I was. That sex in the city type era passed me by. As it was, the TRUTH is, that I was a serial monogamist who stayed in relationships long past the point of closing time.
Another lie...the police were after me. She neglected to count on the fact that I would CALL UP THE LOCAL police to find out exactly why they had stopped by her house looking for me. They were not. I guess she thought I would cower in a corner and beg her to protect me. Who MAKES UP THIS KIND OF SHIT TO CONTROL THEIR OWN KID? The mind boggles.
My grandmother would buy into all of it. That's on her karma now. But I do remember my mother saying "Some policemen were just here, what have you done NOW?"
Other than go to school, pay taxes, work two jobs and date my boyfriend. I can't imagine. So I called them on SPEAKER PHONE. They ran my license and name. Not so much as a ticket EVER. My favorite part? My mother was sitting there chain smoking looking like a dumbass when the officer on the phone said "Whomever said that to you was clearly a lier".
Thank you.
I finally got the hell out and moved to Colorado. Occasionally I would talk to her and she would promise never to tell lies about me or my husband again, and then my cousin would call me with a completely different account of that conversation where my mother claimed "I was rude and I threatened her".
So much for tearful reunions.
So...the call finally came that her body had been found in a motel.
Enter a period where my KUNTRY relatives tried to break into her apt to steal anything of value. Unfortunately they were stopped by the office manager. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. My mother had cleared out all of her belongings and given them away.
That particular cousin called me when I was grieving. I'm sitting there crying my eyes out and instead of telling me that she is grieving as well or offering words of comfort. The thing that comes out of her mouth is "Well.. listen to me. Your mother always said she would give that china to Courtney and I expect to get that for her."
Really?
That's what you've got to offer?
I did wind up getting all of that stuff from my mothers former housekeeper. But like my friend Amanda said "IT'S MY CHINA NOW BITCH".
They tried to get control of her body.
I had a friend that owns a funeral home handle everything for me and I told the family something else to throw them off. Another friend picked up the ashes from the funeral home and drove them to me.
We are planning to release them this summer.
I'm not telling anyone where or how. Anyone more excited about her china than her death does not deserve to come.
My aunt wanted me to give HER the ashes. (My aunt whom my mother hated with a passion).
Another cousin told me "Yeah..they plan on holding a memorial for her and running ar0und telling everyone "Look! Her own daughter didn't show up" so that they could fob off their guilt on ME. Nice try losers. That worked when other relatives died. My grandmother died and no one called me until 3 days AFTER her funeral. I didn't even know she was ill. I had just spoken with her on the phone the week before! That's just one in a long string of people whose funeral I missed because my mother or aunts wanted to be able to talk shit about me.
But..now it's done. As my husband said "The woman can no longer torment us unless we let her" and as for my "family". I'll keep one or two cousins in my life and the rest can kiss my ass.