Crazy Town

Okay since my mother died my reactions to things have become COMPLETELY inappropriate. My mother's suicide set off a chain of bizarre happenings that I could neither stem nor control. I've literally answered the phone, checked the mail, signed onto the computer at my OWN FUCKING RISK since March because what is waiting there is usually an emotional land mind of EPIC proportions. Because of this I think my "reaction meter" is clearly broken.
My daughter had her preschool graduation. I CRIED and LOUDLY through the whole thing. There is "tearful" and "weepy" and then there is your husband telling you through gritted teeth to pull it together. As if that is not bad enough...we took her to dinner at her favorite place after (which is anyplace with table cloths and crystal..she literally specifies those things) and I BAWLED through that.
Tonight? My bff called to tell me that a mutual close friend of ours was run over by a car. There was silence on the phone. She said "I know honey...you've been through so much I almost didn't call".
Silence.
"Sweetie..talk to me".
"Rhonda..please..say something"
Finally I took my hand off my mouth and she heard me laughing so hard I could barely breathe. I laughed so hard I had to draw a bath while talking to her because I peed myself laughing so hard.
Then in typical Glo fashion she screams "You BITCH YOU ARE GOING TO CAUSE ME TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL" as she proceeded to laugh so hard SHE peed HERSELF. (We really should both be checked for incontinence).
So while we're wailing away at our friends horrible misfortune she adds...
"But wait but wait but wait...listen to this." She mumbled something that I could NOT understand because she was by now CRYING with laughter.
I said "What damn it? What else?!!!! What fucking else besides being mowed down by a fucking car?!"
She barely got out "She landed on the guys car (screaming laughter..beating the table now) and the guy ROLLS DOWN THE WINDOW (I'm out of my chair onto the bathroom floor beating my foot on the floor with laughter)
And he say's "Bitch...get the hell off my new car".
(Laughing so hard I almost threw up).
Seriously though..she's at the damn Galleria in Houston when it happens. VALET PARK. That's what it's there for. Jesus.